-->>>I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
>>the following reasons: I do physical labour. I work
>>at great depths. I plunge head first into everything
>>I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>>I work in a damp environment. I don't get paid
>>overtime. I work in a dark workplace that has
>>poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My
>>work exposes me to contagious diseases.
>>Sincerely,
>>The Penis
>>
>>Dear Penis,
>>After assessing your request and considering the
>>arguments you raised, the administration rejects
>>your request for the following reasons: You do not
>>work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the job after
>>brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders
>>of the management team.
>>You do not stay in your designated area and are
>>often seen visiting other locations. You do not take
>>initiative- you need to be pressured and stimulated
>>in order to start working. You leave the workplace
>>rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't
>>always observe necessary safety regulations, such
>>as wearing the correct protective clothing.
>>You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable
>>to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your
>>designated work area before you have completed the
>>assigned task. And if that were not all, you have
>>been seen constantly entering, and exiting, the
>>workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
>>
>>Sincerely,
>>The Management.