- Cartoon - Sushicat, 13.03.2003, 23:40
- Re: OT: auch noch ein paar Witzle (E) - Sorry, falls schon bekannt - JLL, 14.03.2003, 00:07
- :-) Jay Leno - Sushicat, 14.03.2003, 00:27
- Re: OT: auch noch ein paar Witzle (E) - Sorry, falls schon bekannt - JLL, 14.03.2003, 00:07
Re: OT: auch noch ein paar Witzle (E) - Sorry, falls schon bekannt
-->"It's been reported that the FBI is visiting libraries nationwide and checking the reading records of people it finds suspicious. When asked about it, President Bush said 'I've always been suspicious of people who go to libraries." —Conan O'Brien
"In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since English is a second language to both of them." —Jay Leno
"President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?" —Jay Leno
"New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut." —Craig Kilborn
Bush, Einstein and Picasso at the Pearly Gates
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks,"Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed."You really ARE Einstein!" he says."Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks,"Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says,"Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps."Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says."Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says,"Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says,"Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says,"Come on in, George."
Bush and Powell Plan World War III
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman,"Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said,"Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said,"Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said,"We're planning World War III."
The guy asked,"Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said,"Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed,"Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said,"See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!"
Cheney and the Bushes on a Plane
Dick Cheney, President Bush and his father are flying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says,"You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Dubya shrugs his shoulders and says,"Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." George Bush Senior says,"Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
The pilot rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says,"I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

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