- Jack the COBOL programmer - Pancho, 21.08.2003, 16:09
- LOL (owT) - SchlauFuchs, 21.08.2003, 18:07
Jack the COBOL programmer
-->Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being
taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the
Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting
some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000
conversions. Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken
its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he
could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came
with it.
Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a
deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would
know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and
computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except
getting on with his life.
He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive
date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and
that was that. The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern
room filled with excited people. They were all shouting"I can't believe
it!" and"It's a miracle" and"He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any
he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science
fiction movie. Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group
stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm."Is it over?" he
asked."Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and
promotions and crises all over and done with?" The spokesman explained that
there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's
cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually
eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to
such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed
them to contact anyone else on the planet. That sounds terrific," said Jack.
"But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?""Well," said the
spokesman."The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your
files that you know COBOL".

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