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Mix-Ansicht- Das gestrige FED-Statement in meteorologischer Ãœbersetzung - kingsolomon, 11.08.2004, 11:02
- Great! (owT) - BillyGoatGruff, 11.08.2004, 11:10
Das gestrige FED-Statement in meteorologischer Ãœbersetzung
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von Dan Norcini, Houston
From the Federal Reserve Bureau of Meteorology:
The weather pattern thus far this year has been for the most part fairly pleasant. Sunny days with blue skies have predominated and for that we take most, if not all of the credit due to our wise and skillful ability to manipulate the jet stream. Recently however, there seems to be a return to an unfortunate pattern of grey skies and clouds that has resulted in diminished fun and games for all. Not to worry however, we believe that these gray skies and clouds will disappear fairly soon. As a matter of fact, we can say two things with exact certitude - the sun will definitely shine again at some point and that if the sky is not gray, it will indeed be blue. We think we know when this will happen but cannot say so with absolute confidence since the forecast could go either way right now. However we are relying on our superior knowledge and abilities to manipulate the jet stream as we stand ready to move it whatever way is necessary to produce the weather pattern that will please the most people.
In the meantime, the transitory influences that have produced the grey skies, most notably the category 5 hurricane that is just offshore the southern coast, is really more of an inconvenience and we expect it to go away without much fuss. Since we are not concerned with it, neither should you be.
Until the next time we gather to produce another erudite announcement, we bid you peasants a fond farewell and trust that you will rest a bit more securely in the knowledge that we are looking out for you and have your best interests at heart. Chumps!
Signed:
Your beneficent masters.
The Fed.,
Alan, Tim, Ben, Susan, Roger, Ed, Tom, Don, Cathy, Mark, Sandy, Bill
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