-->"President Bush said today he would like America to establish a permanent base on the moon. This is all part of his plan to get Americans used to an environment where the air is un-breathable and there are no trees." —Jay Leno


"President Bush also signed a law this week that would allow the timber industry to cut down excess trees. If you're in the timber industry, excess trees are the ones that haven't been cut down yet." —Jay Leno




"President Bush said this week he wants to send men to the moon and then he was told we already did that back in 1969 and he said 'I was drinking then I don't remember the '60s." —Jay Leno