-->Reuters: Kerry Plans To Cancel Public Appearances

Reuters announced today that Kerry will not make public speeches in his campaign for the presidency once he sews up the Democratic nomination.

Following Bush's interview on"Meet the Press" today, Kerry staffers have decided simply to mail CD's and videotapes of the interview to the entire U.S. populace of voting age."What could be a better endorsement for Kerry?" one Dem staffer chuckled, adding that 253 Bush campaign staff had called since the interview, offering to come over to what they had previously called"the dark side."

Future Dem's TV spots will feature exerpts from the interview and campaign rallies will feature full-length replays.

Fundraising dinners will also be unnecessary, as the Dems have dubbed Dubya's interview into 27 different languages and report having pre-orders totalling over $100,000,000 U.S. dollar equivalent.